Everybody loves to receive compliments. Not only does it validate who we think we are, but it gives us a sudden boost of confidence. Like you know you're the man, but when someone else acknowledges that fact, you feel even more awesome. A lot of influencers-- actually probably all of them-- talk about the compliment factor while wearing a certain fragrance or piece. "You'll definitely get a ton of compliments." Sound familiar?
While I understand why they emphasize this, it is kind of misleading. Let me tell you why:
Regardless of how great you look or smell, if you're not around other confident people, you are significantly less likely to get a compliment. This is because it takes courage to give a compliment, so if you're around nervous, introverted people, you may not hear one kind word about your outfit or fragrance. It doesn't mean they aren't thinking that you look/smell really good though.
Think back to high school: I'm sure you felt like a million bucks when you wore a new outfit to class, but how often did you hear positive feedback from your peers? Based on my experience, rarely ever. More times than not, the one's who were apt to acknowledge what I was wearing were the teachers. That's because most people lack confidence in high school. They're still trying to figure themselves out, so most people couldn't care less about your new outfit.
This is why they say confident people attract confident people. You need to be confident to both give and get compliments. Why to give? Because if you're not feeling great about yourself chances are you won't be looking for things that make other people appear great. Why to get? Because if you're friendly and approachable people will feel more comfortable approaching you with a compliment.
Another quick note about figuring out the likelihood of getting a compliment is that your chances increase greatly if you're around people who like you as opposed to strangers or acquaintances. This is because friends, family, or close colleagues already feel more comfortable around you, and as noted above, it takes a bit of confidence to give a compliment. Think: how many compliments have you received from strangers? Personally, I haven't been given many.
Consider if you saw a guy wearing a fitted Tom Ford suit but he was walking with his shoulders slouched looking at the ground. Would you feel comfortable going up to him and saying that you like his suit?
Probably not.
Now consider if you were the guy in the fitted Tom Ford suit and a guy walked past you who was slouching his shoulders and looking at the ground. Would you really expect that guy to compliment your suit?
Again, probably not.
Nine times out of ten, I can tell which people are going to be the ones who compliment me just based on their body language and demeanor. Occasionally, I'm blindsided with a compliment which I'm not expecting-- my favorite being a woman who complimented my hair as I was getting off the train-- but most of the time I anticipate getting a compliment before I even get it.
That's why in my reviews, I will never definitively say that a particular fragrance or piece will get you compliments. I can say it will get you noticed and that you might get compliments, but in good faith, I can't promise you something that isn't certain.
So next time you hear a reviewer or influencer tell you that you will get compliments for wearing something, take it with a grain of salt (i.e. don't completely expect to get compliments). I think it's unfair to people who hear that something will get them positive feedback and then go out and spend $100 on a bottle of cologne or a new sport's coat. It's even worse when someone tries to sell their own product by making such claims.
Of course, as with everything in my blog, this is just my opinion and how I see it. If you really just only care about getting compliments then you do you.
So what do you guys think? Do you frequently give/get compliments? Do you think confidence plays a role in getting or receiving compliments? Let me know in the comments below or send me an email at tnpersona@gmail.com
-Ryan S.
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