We've all been in moments in which we felt it imperative to impress someone-- perhaps it was a first date or maybe a job interview. And in those moments you may have realized that sometimes it can be challenging to impress the other person.
There are a plethora of different reasons why that might be. Maybe the person just doesn't vibe well with you. Maybe they think you're too straightforward. Maybe they can't get over how much fragrance you're wearing.
The worst part of all this is that if you do not impress the person fairly early-on in the conversation, you're probably not going to change their mind about you later on.
But what would you say if I told you that there was something you could do in virtually any situation to score points with the other person?
Fortunately, there is!
And it's something so subtle, so seemingly obvious, that you could start using it in your very next conversation.
But before I tell you the sure-fire way you can impress literally anyone, let me ask you this:
How do you feel when you're the center of attention? How do you feel when you're able to talk about your ideas with someone? How do you feel when all eyes are on you?
Unless you're someone who suffers from anxiety, it probably feels pretty damn good, right?
You feel bold and important and may even think more highly about the person or people listening to you, that is, you might be impressed that they're giving you the lime light.
In a mostly self-centered world where everyone wants to be seen and heard, it is immensely flattering when someone acknowledges your insights and perhaps even praises you for them.
Ergo, how you can impress literally anyone you converse with is by allowing them to talk more about themselves and seeming responsive to what they're saying
As a rule of thumb: talk less, listen more, and ask genuine questions about what the person's saying.
Often these days, people are only partially listening to others in conversation. They're most likely listening for something they can respond to, and then formulating a response while tuning out the rest of what the other person is saying.
This doesn't make for good conversation though. Neither is it enjoyable nor is is beneficial. You might even reflect back on the conversation and wonder what you were even talking about (it happened to me several times while in graduate school).
When you stop feeling the need to insert your two-cents into the conversation and instead actually listen to the other person, you'll notice two things:
1. You'll enjoy the conversation more and perhaps learn from it
2. You'll notice the other person feel more comfortable and by the end of the conversation appear more friendly.
Because people tend to be self-centered and love talking about themselves, when you allow them to do just that, they're going to respect you more for it and may even think more positively of you.
[See the attached video for a personal example of this]
Now, you're not always going to find everyone super interesting, and that's why I said seem responsive to what they're saying.
It's an even worse feeling to be given center stage and noticing that your audience is falling asleep due to boredom.
That's why you should always intently listen and seem engaged in what they're saying even if it's a boring topic. You're looking to impress the other person, not hurt their feelings!
So next time you're in a situation where you want to impress the other person or just seem like a stand-up person, ease-up on talking about yourself and instead put the majority of your focus onto the other person.
-Ryan
www.youtube.com/channel/UCZFjEn0q_eN9Y_xa0FEk2Dg
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