You spend a bit of time planning your outfit before you go to bed. You wake-up early to make sure you have ample time to take a shower, get dressed, apply your favorite fragrance, et cetera. You want to make sure you look and smell on-point. So when someone tells you they really like your fragrance or that your jacket fits nicely it feels pretty good, right?
Everyone likes receiving compliments. It validates our own sense of style; not only do we think we look good, but other people confirm it by giving a compliment. However, should you intentionally try to get compliments? How big of a deal is it that people notice and validate you?
A lot of fashion and fragrance influencers talk quiet a bit about leveraging style "for the ladies". It probably is one of the most talked about topics, and honestly it baffles me.
It's true that we typically take the thoughts or potential thoughts of others into consideration when figuring out what to wear, but the thing I have a problem with is that these influencers make it seem like the sine qua non of style and fragrances is attracting attention from the opposite sex and getting compliments.
I'm thinking of a couple of people in particular who really emphasize that message. I don't want to give names, but these particular people are just overly superficial. I can't even watch their content anymore.
Is fashion a superficial field? Absolutely. Is there much more to it than superficiality? Much more.
I believe, that the most important part of being fashionably inclined and wearing an expensive fragrance is how it makes you feel, i.e. the significant boost of confidence you get from looking sharp or smelling great.
So while what the ladies--or anyone really-- think may be a somewhat important reason to look and smell your best, in my book, it is not even a close second.
I dress-up primarily for myself. I want to feel my best and I want to go out into the world with that feeling. Who may or may not be checking me out is not a huge concern to me.
Now, I'm not saying we should stop trying to leverage our style to attract attention from other people. What I'm saying is that shouldn't be the only reason you dress-up, and unfortunately, many of these influencers make it out to be the one and only reason to or at least the most important reason to.
I think that, while compliments do matter a little, they are not nearly as important as others online make them out to be.
Perhaps it's because I'm super confident and have an impeccable sense of identity, but if I'm going to be spending hundreds--even thousands-- of dollars on clothes and fragrances, you better believe that it's a personal investment.
The two choices then seem to be this: do you want to look and smell good for yourself or do you want to look and smell good for others?
Neither is a bad choice. I mean, if you want to spend $200 on a bottle of Tom Ford cologne just to attract attention and get compliments from the ladies then go for it. Just personally, I don't think that's a very wise investment.
Ultimately, I believe that if you're getting into style, fashion, and fragrances strictly for the ladies, you should step back and really consider if spending a lot of money in attempt to attract people is worth it.
After all, relationships may end, but a true sense of style-- well that's timeless.
-Ryan S.
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