In fashion, and in life to a certain degree, we always seem to be striving towards some sort of attractiveness. We spend a lot of time getting ready and dressing-up in order to appear attractive. Of course, there are a plethora of reasons why one might choose to dress-up, but typically, wanting to look your best is always a reason. If it weren't, why would anyone spend the time, energy, and most importantly, the money, to dress-up?
However, the one flaw in this way of thinking is that being attractive is subjective, and therefore, what one person thinks is drop-dead gorgeous, another might think is loud and pompous. So here's the sine qua non of being attractive-- I consider it to be the universal definition-- if, when you look in the mirror, you think you're hot then you are actually hot.
I'll say that again:
If, when you look in the mirror, you think you're hot then you are actually hot.
It seems like a very simplified answer to the title question, but let me explain: if you like what you see in the mirror then the potential opinions of others will cease to matter. If you dress-up for you and like what you see, you'll get an ineffable sense of confidence, so much so that even if you have some minor scarring on your face, like me, or have a slightly crooked nose, your confidence will make you appear more attractive to other people.
People like charisma and energy. People like positive vibes. People are drawn to others who walk with their heads held high.
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| Tom Brady (Photocredit: GQ.com) |
Consider if you saw Tom Brady, or probably better for this example, a guy who looked like Tom Brady, walking down the street with his shoulders slouched looking down at the ground. Would you immediately think "Tom Brady's so hot" or would you wonder what was going on with him?
Probably the latter.
You know why? Because confidence exemplifies natural good looks while looking sad diminishes them. That is why it is crucial to dress-up and look sharp for yourself before anyone else because if you love the way you look other people will take notice.
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| Steve Urkel with his girlfriend, Myra (Photocredit: I Love Old School Music) |
Now consider the character Steve Urkel from Family Matters. I'm sure most of us would agree that his style is the epitome of what not to do and his personality is the epitome of how not to act, but the bottom line is this, because he thinks he's a snazzy dresser and a pretty cool guy, other people notice his confidence and some even admire him for it. Hell, he's even able to get a physically attractive girlfriend.
So while the term "attractive" is subjective and will differ from person to person, what won't differ is an attraction toward confidence. Remember: being attractive has to start on the inside. You have to believe it yourself and once you do the world will believe it too.
And let's not forget about how important one's personality is.
Steve Urkel is probably the best friend anyone could want. He's loyal, giving, helpful, and empathetic. That's what makes him attractive. Sure, he might look, sound, and act like a dweeb, but it's his heart that really shines through his glaringly evident flaws. I think that's a huge point the show tries to make.
So the next time you find yourself wondering if you're attractive or not, ask yourself, do I like how I look? If the answer to the second question is yes then the answer to the first is yes as well!
-Ryan S.
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