Before I really get into this one, let me tell you, I have never met a single person who consistently dresses-up and looks sharp that thought they were ugly or unattractive. That's because fashion literally has the power to change how you see yourself. As I mentioned in my "Am I Attractive" post, even if you have minor flaws, which the majority of us do, changing your personal style will make you feel more attractive and that's what really counts!
So in this post, I'm going to be addressing the people who are unsure if they want to dress-up because they think they're unattractive. You know who I'm talking about: the people who when dressed-up for a special event feel ridiculous; the people who typically lack the confidence to potentially be the cynosure of everyone's attention.
I use to be that kind of person, so I both appreciate and empathize with such feelings.
One of my biggest concerns when I was growing up with Body Dysmorphic Disorder was whether or not I was ugly. I would dread the thought of even wearing an Oxford shirt because I didn't want to stand-out. Forget sports jackets or fragrances. I use to dress super basic because I was afraid of getting attention. I wish I knew the power of style back then.
Does this sound familiar?
Even if you don't have some sort of psychological impairment, you might just not have a lot of confidence or you might think you're not attractive because your single-- a very common thought for younger people and one that I absolutely had.
Let's first consider what it even means to be ugly or unattractive.
There are two main definitions of the word ugly. The first is "unpleasant or repulsive, especially in appearance" and the second, which I prefer is "involving or likely to involve violence or other unpleasantness" (Oxford Dictionary). I like the latter definition a bit more because it defines ugliness as something internal whereas the former defines it as being external. Sure, there are a small percentage of people who just aren't physically attractive. Think of Quasimodo from The Hunchback of Notre-Dame or even Steve Urkel.
But I don't think that that is an applicable definition of being ugly for most of us. Rather, I feel like most people are ugly on the inside. Maybe they lack integrity or are morally repulsive. Maybe they're criminals who lack a conscience. Maybe they bully other people to make themselves feel better. Whatever the case is, 90% of the time someone who's actually ugly probably isn't physically unattractive.
You need to understand that. In fact, I think quite often people who are insecure about their own looks will put others down in order to get validation from those around them.
That is why I believe that confidence is the key to eliminating such harmful thoughts whether you actually are being called unattractive or just feel it.
In fact, when confidence is added to a sense of personal style, you will enjoy complete peace of mind. The negative opinions of others, as well as your own, will cease to matter.
So as long as you're a good person: someone who's caring and considerate, respectful and empathetic to the concerns of others, someone who brings others up rather than puts them down then you are attractive and dressing-up will only amplify your sexiness.
In my opinion, you should never allow the thought of being unattractive deter you from looking your best. It's a bit ironic because once you look your best you'll feel your best. And I can 100% attest to that.
Do you have any questions, comments, or would like me to elaborate on any of the aforementioned points?
Let me know in the comments or email me at tnpersona@gmail.com!
-Ryan S.
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